You Chose an Awful Morning

This morning while I was still dreaming I could hear my alarm going off, so somewhere between dreaming and waking I turned it off, so I woke up way too late. It's because of this damn daylight savings time created by that asshole Ben Franklin (or so I heard). I couldn't take a full shower, so I feel really unclean. Then I think I put my contact in backwards because it keeps trying to pop out of my eye (probably because I was so freaking tired). Thomas (my five year old brother) kept yelling at me for looking at him like he always does. Mom hurt his feelings so she kissed him to make him feel better while I was waiting for us to leave, and I felt like crap.

Then we got dropped off really early so I went to the library to return Dracula which I finished reading Saturday night, after having it for a month.
Then I hung out in front of the stage with Emily and Andrew, and Angela came up and said "People I love!" and to be funny I added "And me!" but she thought I was being serious, and I guess I felt a little serious.
Then she had a chocolate milk and I was really thirsty and she didn't want her chocolate milk so I asked her if I could have it and she let me have it, and I said "I'm really thirsty, but this will probably make me even more thirsty because that's what milk does." But everyone ignored me.

Then we went on the stage because Mr. M showed up and gave us evaluation forms for the In-Works Festival we went to at Lawrence over the weekend, and it said "In-Works Evaluation Forms" on a folder, and I said "Do you mean the permission slips?" and he said no, and gave me a form, and I said it looked like a lot of work, and he said something and then said "Oh wait, you don't care," because I'm a senior and won't be able to go to the festival next year. So I got a black Crayola marker and wrote out my evaluation and told them they should make the food cost less money because lunch was 4$ which was okay, but supper was 5$ and Mr. M only told us to bring 8$ so I was a dollar short, so I didn't get chips.

When I was done with the evaluation form I think I just stood around and talked, but the bell rang kind of soon, so I went up to my homeroom.

In homeroom, B1, J2, B3, and D were there, and B1, J2 and D were being rude and obnoxious, which I expect from the first two but not D. I decided to ignore them and read Hamlet (with notes) but I couldn't focus and it was making me angry. B1 kept making homophobic remarks and it was making me angry, and J2 and D (who are both bisexual) were egging him on. Mr. R had been out of the room, so when he came back I said "I would like to be in a different room. I don't feel safe here."
Mr. R asked what happened (or something) and I said something about B1 being an asshole, and he said he would talk to them and I said: "No, you won't. You will joke with them and make them feel like it's okay to say those kinds of things because that's what you always do."
Then B1 went "Oh, Mr. R's an asshole now, too!" And I was super pissed and said I would like to transfer to Mrs. S's room because all of the assholes from her class seem to come to my homeroom, and then Mr. R said nothing.

And then the bell rang so I ran out of there and went to my study hall where I signed out to go to the stage, and when I got there I went behind the wall and cried.
Then I came back out and Jarrett noticed that I had been crying so he started talking to me but we were interrupting Mr. M so we went for a walk to the cafeteria and he put his arm around me and rubbed me and comforted me and talked to me, and Mr. B came in and told us we had to get somewhere but Jarrett told him we were just on the stage and Mr. M knew where we were.

We talked for awhile and Jarrett said a few things that I kind of didn't agree with but made me feel better, like about how B1 is probably just projecting his bad feelings of himself onto others and how D will just try to make everyone happy at the same time and how college will be better. And he said I could switch to Ms. M's room because him and Kaylee and Jeremy and Carlton were there, and there were two homophobes in there but they didn't say much or something, and I thought that sounded like a good idea.

Then I felt dumb so we went back to the stage and watched the actors perform Prelife Scenes, and Emily did one where two boys had to be in a gay relationship, but one boy was Emily's husband (and this was the scene where her characters in the play found out about it) and as soon as Emily's character walked off the stage, the two boys ran into the bedroom and started humping each other, and we all laughed and thought it was great, and I wondered if they were allowed to do that but Mr. M didn't say anything so we all just kept laughing, and Tyler looked kind of scared.

Then Devin was doing a scene where he was auditioning guys to go out with his sister, and Jarrett was one of them and he took off his shirt and was all sexy and called him Ramon or Rupert or something like that. It was a lot more fun.

Then the bell rang and I went to AP calculus and pretended to punch Carlton like I learned how to do at the workshop at Lawrence, and Autumn saw and she said it was pretty good. Then we got on computers and started reviewing and Mrs. S had a talk with us about how we were AP students and we were supposed to pass our homework in on time, which I didn't think was fair because she hasn't been doing the best job of teaching us these things. She goes really fast and writes things on the board and then gives us homework, and the homework always seems so different from the classwork that I don't know what to do.

Then she got a phonecall, and told me I had to go down to see Ms. N, and I knew right away it was about this morning. So she wrote me up a pass to go down to the office and I was almost in tears the whole way down because I was sick of talking about this but I knew Ms. N would help me.

So I got in there and she brought me into her office and I sat down and I described the situation in as much detail as I could, and she told me Mr. R felt bad about this morning, which made me feel a little better, because it seemed like he didn't feel bad at all.

Then she talked a lot about how she couldn't understand this kind of behavior and how it would come back to bite them in the ass when they're adults, and I was only kind of half listening because it was all kind of what Jarrett had told me earlier and I had only half listened to him as well.

Then she told me that she was proud of me for standing up for myself, but something about not letting it get to the boiling point and doing what I was getting mad at them for doing, but that wasn't what I did.
I called B1 an asshole because he was being an asshole, I didn't offend anyone else by doing that, only B1. When someone calls someone else gay, I get offended because I hear it.

Then Ms. N let me go and I met up with Justin and I wish he could see how sad I was, but all he did was give me a little friendly hug, and asked me what we were doing in AP Calc, and I told him we were reviewing, and we got back and we finished up on the computers and then we started going over old homework that we hadn't passed in, and Autumn and I used each other to get answers.
And I told her about how Mr. M gave me a dollar at the festival and told me that I had to buy him a soda, and I went "I owe Autumn so many sodas, you don't even know" because we always say something at the same time and she'll go "Jinx, you owe me a soda!" and I am in soda-debt.

So we went over some homework that I was really confused on and it helped a lot even though I didn't finish all of it, but we had to leave so I put it away, went to my locker to get my coat because I have playwriting right after this class and I don't have any time between this class and that one to get my stuff to go outside (because playwriting is in the portables and I have no body fat) and put my calculus away. And then I came into this classroom.